I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
