Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
