Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I am one with the molecules
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
