That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
