You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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