she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
try to milk me bitch
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
