Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
