whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
