The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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