Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Randomize
