I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
