just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
