After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
