We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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