I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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