Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Randomize
