Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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