I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize
