There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
