She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Randomize
