There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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