your thong is hanging out like whoa
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
