I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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