I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
