I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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