you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize