He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
