'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
