Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize