Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
