You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
