Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
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