people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize