...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Randomize
