i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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