I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
