is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
