He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
