from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Randomize
