that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Randomize
