Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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