Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
