True but thats because hes a fetus.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
