How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Randomize
