my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
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