dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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