i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
