I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
