Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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