Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
