How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
