The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
