sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
He did a backflip because drugs
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
