i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Randomize
