No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Alive.
So much puke
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
