I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
