I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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