she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
