thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Randomize
