It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
