Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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