I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
