dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
