better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize