Need sex. Gaining weight.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
